Peter Drake has lived with our family for forever it seems. In reality, it’s been only seven or eight years, but he has become so much a part of the Slattery household that it is hard to separate his presence from the concept of home.
A lover of all things Norwegian, schizophrenic, former alcoholic ,and convert to Catholicism, Peter has entertained our household greatly with his oddities and countless stories and facts.
Peter most recently has been struck with a deadly disease in which the sufferer is plagued with bouts of dizziness. This malady means that Peter feels unable to make the long trek across the road. The oddest thing about this disease is its utterly perfect timing: it strikes every Sunday.
We’ve gotten it down to a science. Sunday morning mass is at 10:30. At 9:45, Peter will shuffle out of his back room and announce to either Mom or Dad that he feels “awful dizzy” and doesn’t think he can make it over to mass. Then he’ll shuffle back into his room and turn on Relevant Radio (a Catholic station) or start in on one of the 5 rosaries he prays daily. Somehow between the time the family is over at mass and the time we arrive home and eat our weekly Sunday feast, Peter’s Dizzy Disease is cured. We will hear no more about it until the next Sunday.
This was going on for quite awhile and both exorcising and exercising the patient was prescribed as a permanent cure to this dismaying illness, but I am happy to report that this Sunday, Peter made it across the road to mass and even all the way through the service.
I was informed afterwards that it was not as easy as he made it all seem. We have a suffering hero in our midst. Peter stopped me and told me that, “I was getting awful dizzy in the middle, but I stuck it out and made it through mass today,” as I was ascending upstairs to change from my Sunday finery.
It would seem that the dangers of Peter’s Drake’s Sunday Dizzy Disease have passed, but rest assured that there will be more of the Great Drake’s exploits and adventures to report in the future. As for now, in the immortal words of Peter, “I’ll letchya go,”.