Sweet Ridge Sisters’ Parody

Meet a “Sweet” Ridge brother-Patrick Brendan.

Early this morning I woke yet again to a breathtakingly beautiful Dallas day!! During the night a gentle mist had fallen, encasing the long winding street upon which my humble yet homey 5 bedroom 3 bathroom colonial style home sits in completely damp yet blissful silence.

Save for the occasional passings of a stray cat and the gentle industrious scratchings of our pet rat, Ralph, in the ceiling above, as he no doubt constructed a comfy nest to raise his burgeoning family in, the slow methodical whoosh of my own contented breathing was the only noticeable sign of life on my block.

You see, I AM a sweet ridge brother! It is moments such as this that define me, that define my past, and define who I will be in the future! In these moments, these early mornings, when my spirit and the deepest yearnings of my soul awaken my body to the blood red yet brilliantly clear Dallas sunrise that I know one thing in life is certain; I am a sweet ridge brother, and the cows are calling me home!

They haunt my sleep; I can hear their gently lulling as they call their calves to come to their sides for the night. In my minds eye I look upon them,slowly chewing their cuds in a sheer-contented ecstasy, and I sob with longing for them. I sob for with the cows for it is with them that I experienced a peace that I have never been able to recapture through all my learning, through all my friends, and through the constant almost desperately empty acquisition of meaningless possessions. It is in these moments, in the dewy silences of these mornings that I know for certain who I am and what I shall be; I am a sweet ridge boy, and soon, God willing, I will be a farmer yet again. Soon the silence I awake to will be one filled with the promise of milkings, of a the gentle hissing of my genuine Surge pipeline system and of the sweet smell of freshly cut hay!

So I lie still and I wait. For waiting is all that I can do. Someday I shall return to my beloved bovine companions, someday I shall return to find that piece of myself that I left behind two long years ago when I pulled my last teat. Until then Ralph will be all that have. I will love him, I will nurture him, and I will protect his young family with every fiber of my being and with every ability that the Lord has given me. For I am a sweet ridge brother, and I was born to be a caretaker of every creature, be it big or small, that inhabits this earth.

Early this morning I awoke to a dream that was bigger and grander than any one, which could be conceived of in mere sleep, early this morning I awoke to the dream of my farm.

(Apologies to Kate.  Mom said I could.)

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6 thoughts on “Sweet Ridge Sisters’ Parody

  1. Sarah

    Oh my God, this made me laugh so hard. Oh sweet ridge boy! Your bovine musings bring a tear to my limpid eye, a choked sob to my bosom!

    Reply
  2. Richard Bottelberghe

    Ridge brother-Patrick Brendan I love your writing I am impressed by your ability to express yourself

    Reply
  3. Pingback: The Valiant Ben « sweetridgesisters

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